M&M's and Momma Bear

Mom
"So, everybody was talking about the M&M commercial during the Super Bowl..."

Me
"What M&M commercial? I don't remember that one...not surprising, since I'm still obsessed and only focused on mini Darth, what was it?"

Mom
"Yeah, well, it's this guy, and a car, and a stage, I watched the whole commercial and didn't see one M&M the entire time...turns out it's the name of some person...I didn't get it..."

Laughter.

Me
"Mom, the guys NAME is "Eminem", and he was actually that "guy" in the commercial...and that was his song playing in the background."

Mom
"Yeah, well, I didn't see one M&M in the whole thing."

(Understand....I'm uber proud that my mom doesn't know who Eminem is...her cool points just shot through the roof!)

LAUGH!!

I'm big on laughing....I do it a lot...and I'm a sucker for when other people do it too. PLUS? It's healthy to laugh! I googled....and got this top 10 list....(I stole it, so give me no credit.)

1. Laughing 100 times roughly equals 15 minutes on an exercise bike? Vigorous laughter increases the heart rate deepens the breathing rate, and uses muscles in the face, stomach, and diaphragm.

2. Aside from improving our moods, laughter can reduce stress, help fight infection, and reduce pain.

3. The levels of two stress hormones, cortisol and epinephrine which suppress the body's immune system, will actually drop after a dose of laughter.

4. Laughter causes positive changes in brain chemistry by releasing endorphins, and it brings more oxygen into the body with the deeper inhalations.

5. Laughter releases anger, fear, guilt, anxiety and tension.

6. Laughter encourages concentration on "right" attitudes rather than "wrong" attitudes.

7. Higher levels of an antibody (salivary immunoglobulin A) that fights infectious organisms entering the respiratory tract were found in the saliva of people who watched humorous videos or experienced good moods.

8. Researchers found after watching an hour-long video of slapstick comedy that the "natural killer cells," which seek out and destroy malignant cells, more actively attacked tumor cells in test tubes. And these effects lasted up to 12 hours.

9. The 1998 movie Patch Adams told the real-life story of a nonconformist doctor convinced that fun, play, and clowns are important in improving patients' quality of life in a grim hospital atmosphere.

10. Planning enjoyable activities for the future will reduce the stressor hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine.

Now....with that said....laugh with me....there are 3 videos that have made me laugh out loud in the past two days....they MUST be shared.....you must laugh! Two I saw on Facebook, one, was played during the Super Bowl.....here we go!

The first...is DARTH! I could watch this one over and over and over again. When his mom pushes his sandwich at him....he's so defeated.....it's so sad....and then....well, just watch it, I don't want to be a spoiler! (Thank you Kim & Kim for "liking" it! I wouldn't have seen it so soon!)

My next prize....was posted on Fitzy's wall....and it's a RIOT!!!!! (Let's try it on ORANGE! HAHAHAHA)

And the last gem!? The BEAVER from the Superbowl! Remember the Geico squirrels would high five when they made a car wreck? At first-I thought it was along those lines....but BEST ENDING EVER!!!!!!!!!!

GOOD TIMES! Now...LAUGH!!

JUST SAY NO! (To Scoops)

It's official....scoops are NOT the chip of choice. It's never been with Tammy and I...but we let JP decide tonight, and he was NOT down with the scoop! ( I mean look at his face! OBVIOUSLY he doesn't like them!) He'll also agree that it cuts up the roof of your mouth. So be considerate....don't bring them to parties...especially since this Sunday is a big chip day. Think of others. We realize you can "scoop" up the goodness....dips...salsa....whichever, but really? In order to "scoop"? You have to plunge it in there, and your thumbs get all messy, plus...it's gross, I mean have you been washing your hands after every "scoop"? No! And? It's SICK SEASON! Buy the bite size....everybody wins....you can fit them in your mouth, AND fit dip on them, and most importantly? NO HARM DONE!!!!!! The roof of your friends mouth will thank you for it. Hmmm....why isn't that a t-shirt. A picture of scoops with a red circle stamped on it, and then "Just say no, the rooves of your friends mouths will thank you for it!" I like it (Is "rooves" a word?!). And really? We're not saying down with Tostitos....love Tostitos....just hate scoops. So...fight for the right to eat "Hint Of Jalapeño" in normal form-not mouth hurting form. This last picture, is of JP standing up for non scoops....we're getting him a onesie made. And? Just to clarify? Mrs. Corti must also agree...I mean she's got a chip ON her shoulder for the love! (Had to be said friends....had to be said.)

RABBITS!!!

Today...is February 1. So if you've jacked your New Year's Resolutions already, it's your chance to start over. NOT that any of you/(read I) would. lol Today...is also "RABBITS"! And...for me...it's a "camp thing" My FAB FAB FAB ranch in Montana that I worked at for 5 summers, Clydehurst Christian Ranch, had a thing.....where every 1st of the month...you had to say "RABBITS" to the other person....before they said it to you! So....July 1, and August 1, were VERY big days. My mom and I do the same, generally I forget, and then mutter when I get got.....BUT...I do try to win on the big one...January 1, of the new year. I got that this year....but then WHAM...this morning....at midnight...."RABBITS" was yelled down the hall. MUTTER MUTTER!!!

Why "Rabbits"? Well, in googling....(love that "googling" is a word!) It's a UK thing, that had spread to Massachusetts!? It initially was for good luck, which, I think luck is bogus, I'm quite sure I need more than luck-God's got that, but now it's become for fun. I'm reading where it says to say "white rabbits"? What about all those wild BROWN rabbits! lol

Wiki, the legit source of all, says this....

• "It is believed that saying "Rabbit Rabbit" on the first day of the New Year will bring year long good luck." (So....I got that....because when I called my mom-to wish her a Happy New Year.....I started with "RABBITS"....but her clock hadn't turned...so I kept saying it until it did! lol)

So then, RABBITS to you!!!!!

(Did you know that a rabbit can reproduce at 1 month old!?-see what you learn when you blog!?)

Marrying a Polar Bear!?

11-11-11....already you know 11 is my favorite number, so therefore, my favorite date. I've picked it as my wedding date. No groom....well, UNTIL I MET THE COCA-COLA POLAR BEAR!!! He's adorable...and he's agreed to marry me. Back story!? I went to Atlanta for an ITMI Symposium,where other tour people like me, get together once a year. (It's pretty much the best time ever! And best class ever!) I flew out early, because I've never spent any time in Atlanta...save RUNNING like a fiend through the airport. This time, however, a TOURIST I would be! The World of Coca-Cola was high on my priority list! I managed to make it to a 3pm VIP tour...and lemme tell ya...WORTH THE EXTRA $10! Adult admission was $16....VIP tour...was $26. (I'll have you know? It also includes 10% off in the gift shop, TWO free cokes, AND? $10 off my photo package, which I HAD to buy of the my precious polar bear kissing me...so I consider the upgrade to VIP-FREE!) My guide was Steve...he was STELLAR! I'm sure other Coca-Cola guides are great? But...Steve was SUPER! At the World of Coca Cola....I met...the Coca Cola Polar Bear! Replacing Santa since 1993...he's the cutest thing in the WORLD!!!! So animated, I was smitten from the second I laid eyes on him....and then? HE KISSED ME! (Sounds like a song eh!?) Well, I said my sad farewells, and over the next few days...the love grew, and then I found out he was to be at our closing event! (PS? Closing event at the World of Coca Cola?? AMAZING!) Boy, was I jazzed, and wearing only cute things that night! I asked him if he'd marry me in November...and he nodded. Sure...I'd always hoped a boy would propose to me, but in his defense...he doesn't speak! So I just verbalized for him! Anyway, the story grew, and I flew home last night....missing my bear, posting pictures of us up on facebook, and tonight, when I wasn't looking, my mom put this in my room! If you can't see the details? It's a polar bear holding a BABY polar bear! S0, wedding...11-11-11. Baby...11-11-12. HA ha ha ha. Oh Momma Bear...she'll take those grandkids/grandcubs any way she can get them! "The Date for this will be 11-11-12. I love you HUGS!" Some info about the wedding? Reception? World of Coca Cola. Theme colors? Red and White. And? I'm off to meet his family in Alaska in July. I hope they like me, because if they don't? I'm not sure I'll be coming back....

Theme? VOLCANO!

Tonight....heading out to play....I grabbed my zip up fleece...and then I saw my hat sitting there...neglected and all...so I put it on, it deserved some play, I wear hats all the time, how could I pass up the chance!? So I get downstairs, and realize? I'm one giant VOLCANO!! My fleece if from Mt. Etna in Sicily (YES, that is ALWAYS in EVERY CROSSWORD PUZZLE! ETNA!), and then my hat....cool as can be....made by hand in Iceland...to represent "Eyjafjalljokull" (the volcano in Iceland that apparently blows up all the time, but because it really messed up flights to/from Europe this spring, was a bigger deal than normal!) So how cool is THAT! Heart me some volcano apparel! I have a volcanic ash necklace from Santorini I should have thrown on for the photo shoot...

So...maybe you know...and maybe you don't...but I've declared war on my basement...it's STAGGERING the amount of CRAP I have down there...and NO NEED! It's not like I have a house! Or like I have kids I'm saving it for....argh...if only I'd met me now...THEN! Oh well....so...eBAY! Oh the joys. Sure...it's a lot of work, it's a little annoying, packing packages is a CHORE...but for a little extra cash, SCORES more than a garage sale, and in the name of "making cleaning fun"....I'm selling. Anything and everything. I LOVE what people will buy! It's CRAZY! And then of course...I buy too...but not NEARLY what I could be buying....that's got to count for something right!? Well, at any rate...I research a little on somethings, you know accurate description, pricing, RECALLS! RECALLS!? Yeah...so I listed my "Mini Lite Brite Keychain" tonight, and it said to check the Consumer Safety website...which, incidentally....is STILL loading, as I type this. So I gave up, I mean I already warned people not to eat the pieces or let their little ones eat the pieces, what more can I do!? BUT, in researching this....I found this write up about old school lite brites-which I still have, and will be eBaying shortly-though not a high value item....and not that any of my items are, but I'm just sayin'. I found this blog "stuff that was cool" and this cats write up about the lite brite was HYSTERICAL...and the Larry King part was great, AND? He made me want the lite brite with 4 sides and BATTERY POWERED! OOOOOoooh! Things like this...make me want kids...a little. Anyway, I remember the Christmas when Curtis and I got our lite brite, we were in Montana...and laying on the floor...I feel like we played with it all day...you'd have to ask mom and dad if that were true. Good times. And it was like cheating if you turned the light on before you were done matching every single light to every single dot or x or whatever! GOOD TIMES! Well...I had hopes and dreams of being in bed before 3 tonight...looks like it might actually be before 1! So...in closing...here's a picture of my lite brite keychain that is being sold on eBay right now.....bid bid bid!

"FUR REAL"

Speaking of "Fashion Police" though....THIS PHOTO IS REAL! I was in the town of Como, Italy....and wandering around....and I FOUND THIS! I could kick myself for not using my real camera...because I bet I could have gotten away with it...but outside the chocolate shop...was this....this....ANIMAL! It's Sunday afternoon....and he's an OLDER gentleman....in a jogging-type LEOPARD PRINT SUIT....with....MATCHING LEOPARD PRINT SANDALS! FURRY SANDALS! So I couldn't resist a phone picture....and I mailed it to my brother and Brad....and they are funny funny cats-no pun intended....but I sent it to them...and put "For REAL?" in the subject line....my brother promptly responds with...."FUR REAL!". LOLOLOLOL!!! WHAT IS GOING ON! Seriously! Though....what laughs would we have if the Fashion Po Po were out there doing their jobs.....?!

Fashion Police..

Speaking of "REALLY?" This picture...I took while riding an elevator up and out of the tube in London. I have NO idea what is happening.....but I don't even know what part of this is acceptable....I mean the fact that you have on red tights? Or that the back of your pants are intentionally missing? Or that on top of all this you are wearing a skirt? Anyway, I just really wanted to share...seriously. Where are the fashion police when you need them....because this? Is a crime that affects us all!

True Story....

It's not MY story...but it's a TRUE story...and I'm posting it for a few reasons...first of all...it's just funny when re-told....second of all....maybe you'll realize that we "tour managers" don't just get paid to go on "vacations"....we put up with CRAP! Or...THROW UP, in this case.

This....THIS happened to my dear friend Annie....my Tour BFF Annie....and here we go.

She's at the airport, in Rome, it's arrival day....the day, I think we all hate, it's just inexplicable, unless you've been there. It's generally ALWAYS insanely early, you generally get ZERO sleep the night before....and I'm positively a MENTAL case on those mornings....call it stage fright....Annie is the same way. So we hate it. We only hate it till we get our passengers though. For me....before they come through that door....I want to cry, run away, quit, and cry some more. I wonder, if I wasn't here....would it be that big of a deal? Why am I doing this? What is the matter with me...? And on and on. But the thing is? The SECOND that my little green tags and bags walk through that door? I'm FINE! And I'm in LOVE LOVE with what I do....and I'm grounded, and on, and all is RIGHT with the world. So again, Annie, the same....except in this case....and I'll just quote from the e-mail I received from her....
This is a new one.....I pick up Ms. Beltz (henceforth, Ms. BELCH) at the airport and she is carrying a Ziploc baggie full of throw up....after I almost vomited looking at it, she shakes it in front of my face and says "What do you want me to do with this?"

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! Really...."what do you want me to do with this?!" Um...people...when doing group tours....I think they leave their brain at home....this one though....really? I have a million answers....and who knows what I would have said if I had been in her position-something way too polite I'm sure...as Tour Carrie is freaky Customer Service and Brand Image....but my first thought....was the obvious....
"Are you kidding me!?????"
but then I really got thinking.....
"Pack it in pack it out!"
or
"You are gonna have to keep that for customs when you leave....can I get you some ice?"
or just the simple
"really? REALLY?"

I mean...so many gems....but that...that my friends, was the beginning of Annie's trip....so when you think we just vacation....remember Ms. Belch...and her ziploc bag of throw up.

And what did Annie say? You were wondering?
Well, she's a rock star....and she #1. did not throw up OR dry heave and #2 was polite and said this... "Yours to take care of. I recommend a trash can." She didn't coddle AND was polite....a rough line.....I mean you can't coddle or they walk all over you, and you HAVE to still be polite because of brand image, customer service, etc.

The joys of our job....I love the MB story....and if you are having a bad day at work....and you deal with people? Maybe it will make things appear "not that bad"....I mean...nobody tried to hand you a bag of throw up today right?!

And also....on behalf of Annie....and another one of her tours? I'm putting up a picture of shoes....a pair of shoes worn on one of her trips by one of her passengers. These are really out there folks....and if you own them....and are reading my blog? I'm gonna need you to stop! SERIOUSLY!? lololol!

Momma Bear

So....I just have to say it, if you don't already know, which, really? How could you not, but here goes. My mom? DARN FUNNY!!! On a lot of levels....but this is what happened today....

I'm at work....Bath & Body Works....part time....and FUN! I love it part time....seriously. So...I go in tonight because I'm going to work my "magic" in the back room...which I love....and more importantly...my "Secret Weapon" is coming to help! So...I dress in appropriate "get buried in boxes and sweat" attire...but I put on the wrong shoes. I put on my birks...that are really just comfy shoes....but here's what I forgot....there is NO room in the back...duh, that's why I was there...and really? I'm just not nimble in my birks. So I'm kind of fussy about it. And I'm kind of getting blocked on being productive because of my shoes...I'm neurotic...I get that. So, it's BUSY on the floor....and there were only 2 girls out there....and there are mad people...and then lines at the register...so I hop on....get the line down, and then continue to empty the cart and am just doing things out there because they need me...and because "Secret Weapon" doesn't get there for an hour! So, I can't handle it...I live a mile away...I need better shoes. Now, me going home...involves me making my way to the back desk....crawling over the store manager on the phone....getting my purse...and making her approve my clock-out...and explaining....then driving home....grabbing my shoes, and doing the whole punch in process, WHICH, if you have ever seen a back room at BBW at holiday...you'd get...but a back room in this store? Somehow worse....somehow...my bedroom is bigger! Anyway, so I text mom. I did try and call her first. And so I said...."if you could, and no big deal if you can't, or when, but can you bring me my pink shoes please? (pictured to the left) I think that they are downstairs or they could be in my room....probably in my jeans where I kicked them off....oh...and not my crocs." (I added the "not my crocs" part because I know that they too are "out" somewhere, and are pink, and are something that I would wear in the back room, and they are pictured to the right!) I text her my request....she texts back...okay. And THEN she texts back...."is there a prize involved?" She is so my mother....I am so her daughter....I write back "duh". So...a little while later, she's there....I run out to the car.....she opens the window....and hands me...are you ready? MY LEAST COMFY HEELS I OWN.....MY PINK HEELS!!!! (Pictured to the left.) My face fell. I mean FELL. Two things are happening in my brain....#1. okay...I guess I'll just make do, I mean I can't make her go back for the right ones, I gotta suck it up, it's not that big of a deal, she is the best for bringing them....oh well, and Carrie, don't freak out, she did you a favor, be an adult....say thanks, I mean after all...they were out....and they are pink!..... and #2.!? I'm HOT about it! WHEN WOULD I EVER EVER EVER WEAR HEELS TO WORK!!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE SAW ME IN MY BACK ROOM GRUNGE ATTIRE BEFORE I LEFT!? WAS THIS SOME SORT OF JOKE?! HOW COULD SHE REALLY THINK THOSE WERE THE ONES!!! LOL So...all of this is occuring in my brain in less than 3 seconds....and she cracks the BIGGEST SMILE and says "that was a GOOD one huh!".....and she's laughing....and I'm DYING....but dying! I mean I'm relieved on one hand....and then mushy that she TOTALLY has my number and KNOWS me and what I do/DID for a living! WHAT A HOOT!! SHE TRICKED ME! And I fell hard hard hard for it.....and seriously....roaring with laughter. So funny. So that....THAT is a perfect example of "from whence I came"....what a riot. Oh my goodness. So that's my momma bear for you. Tricking me....in the midst of crabby me.....I love her.

"From Whence I Came"

I totally MUST go to bed before 1am tonight/day, but I must write this. This morning I came down to a note from my mom written on a paper towel...along with a dead head of lettuce and some stale rolls. The note said this...."After I mow we'll throw these out for your friends, so we can see where they are. Or MAYBE you can tear them into pieces and put it close to the house so you can lure them to be your pet." This of course in regards to my over-obsession with the groundhogs...see blog below. Anyway, this cracked me up....I mean almost fits of giggles. It launched me back to a conversation I had with Annie-with whom you should all be familiar with by now-but we were talking about the Flip-Flop party and how she couldn't come because of a tour, but how she really wanted to because she wanted to see "from whence I came". It was funny, and she said she just really wanted to see where I came from...my peeps/cats/etc. And...so...that note...from my mom...about helping me lure the groundhogs into "petdom" was so TOTALLY from whence I came! I mean this apple hasn't fall far from the tree....if I've fallen at all. So...if you think I'm funny...you haven't met my brother, father, or mother...cuz I have nothing on them. Anyway, I pulled the Hansel and Gretel on the groundhogs...and now I'm waiting......

I heart groundhog/gophers!

So....a groundhog IS a woodchuck....and a gopher is a gopher. Groundhogs live in our backyard, and? BABIES ARE OUT!! So today...setting up for the bbq...I came upon 2...so cute they were, and I love them. So yay. The background on my obsession is that every year, he-and yes, there is only one and he's always the same, anyway, he waddles out.....and to the nearest dandelion head....CHOMPS down on it...then stands to chew it....and his standing does two things....1. let's him chew and 2. let's him look around for his next treat! So then he RUNS to the next dandelion....CHOMP....STAND....RUN to the next! It's the coolest process in the world. LOVE IT! They are like otters on land! So...speaking of otters? I was just at the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago...which I love, and finally this time? No drama....and I got some time to chill and hang with the sea otters. I want one for my bathroom. No picture I take ever does them justice...but goodness they are SO CUTE! I mean they just primp and PLAY! Always cleaning....scratching...etc. Entertaining for sure....and weird! I mean can you imagine them on land? So...I kinda want one for my bathtub....and you cats know I'm not much of a pet person....but an otter? I might be in! I wonder if they make leashes.... Anyway, so...since I won't be getting an otter soon? This groundhog will have to do! Back to the babies...so I came across 2....they let me stare for a while....one was instantly leery of me...and waddled off....the other....just kind of watched me...I don't think he was the smart one....but then figured since his brother went...he should too...so he did, but he only got to the tree line, then turned around to poke his nose out again, then he saw me, and slowly turned around again and went further into the woods. So I turned the corner of the backyard to go in the backdoor? AND THERE HE WAS! Sitting there! And his face...his precious little face....was SCARED TO DEATH! If he'd been a baby rabbit? He'd have been "scared to death". So....there I am...in between him and the woods...but since he's new to living...he doesn't know that he could bolt left and then get to the woods....he only knows straight! So now while I feel bad that I'm scaring him? I also want a picture...and I want to feed him....and I want to cuddle with him. I get my picture....I get mom to hand me some watermelon....and I throw it his way...he does nothing...he's too scared to be curious....and knows that his mom is gonna kill him if I don't. So I go to toss it closer. Then I just GO closer...the whole cuddle part? He kind of jumps at me....and growl BARKS!!! It was SO CUTE! And a little scary...I'm convinced he could hurt me a little! Though....mom was just telling me a story about how a couple babies attacked my dad's feet and it was funny. He? Had on shoes and pants...and they were smaller....I had on capri's and flips! So....alright....I got my picture....I tried to feed you....and I tried to cuddle....missionS accomplished. I stepped aside....he didn't immediately move. But then mom said it best...give him a second and he is gonna take off at a certain point. So I had the video ready and THAT he did. What a hoot. I posted it down below so that you could enjoy as well. Just know that it's me screaming "mommy", not him...just in case you didn't know they didn't talk! You know his mom was watching...knowing I wouldn't hurt him, but she knew he needed to be taught a lesson about staying with his brothers and not wandering off! What fun that was. Sorry for scaring you little guy...but thanks for the fun pictures!!!

And for fun....some internet info...I have no idea what he is....I think a gopher...cuz they aren't that big? But some get pretty fat...and I have no idea if they hibernate or not. Anyway, so the following is stolen...there...will that cover the plagerism?

Q: What is the difference between a groundhog and a gopher?

A: The big groundhog is about 24 times heavier than the little gopher. The animals look somewhat similar, however, with short neck, legs, and tail.

The groundhog (also known as a "woodchuck" and "whistle pig") is a marmot — essentially, a giant North American ground squirrel. The gopher is, like the groundhog, a burrowing member of the rodent order but its closest living relatives are kangaroo rats and pocket mice.

The groundhog hibernates and the gopher does not. By the end of October, the groundhog descends into her hidden burrow beneath a stump or a rock, curls into a relaxed ball, slows her heart from 75 to 4 beats a minute, and drops her body temperature to that of her home. She is so far "asleep" that, even if we warm her, she needs several hours to waken.

Groundhog: species Marmota monax from the squirrel family, Sciuridae, order Rodentia

up to 13 pounds, 6 kg

head and body 20 inches(50 cm) long; tail 18 inches

found in eastern and central United States, across Canada, and into Alaska along forest edges abutting meadows, open fields, roads, and streams.

good swimmers, can climb tall shrubs and sizable trees

Gopher: any of 38 species from the family Geomyidae, order Rodentia

0.5 pound (250 g)

head and body 6 inches (15 cm) long; tail 3 inches (8 cm)

range from southern Canada and the United States, south through Mexico and Central America, to northwestern Colombia. Found from coastal areas to above the timberline in high mountains.

two to three-year lifespan

Lake Champlain...a new "Great Lake"?

Oh Hysterical. So…I’m sitting in O’Hare…just sat down…break out my mac…and I know better….but I see anyway…is there free WiFi? I mean I know there can’t be…since there are signs all over…that it’s too good to be true. It is…freaking BOINGO spot…which is great for Bents…not for me…I can’t commit to that yet. So…now I am really questioning how Fitzy can claim this hot mess as her favorite airport? Also…on that note? I don’t really think the Sears Tower is that ugly….but I do agree that it is TOTAL crap to count the height with the towers…I mean really….it is like measuring your height with a top hat on. HYSTERICAL comparison. ANYWAY…so I sit down…break out the mac…as I do have work to do..and I hear it….corner of my ear…..”Are you from Chicago?” This…not directed at me…but the answer from the person was “No”…so now I’m really listening…since I am super nosey and if I can answer a question from a total stranger…I will…and I’ll love it! So…despite the answer being “No”…this guy proceeds to ask the question anyway…”yeah…that lake…what’s that lake that’s here…isn’t there like a big lake here?” The guy…who isn’t from Chicago…goes “Michigan?” But you’d have to hear it incredulously…cuz he wasn’t sure…since it was too easy…surely that wasn’t the lake he was talking about, but alas…it was. The guy, asker, is like…”Michigan? Yeah…sounds right….k…thanks”…so then they turn away to talk amongst themselves…and this? THIS is where the fun really starts. They say,” now what are the other ones? Well, Lake Champlain, yeah, Lake Champlain, um….Erie…yeah…Erie…and one more….we have Michigan….oh wait…SUPERIOR…yep…there are 5 of them.” I don’t really know where to start with this one…I was forced to put on my headset….maybe a little Josh Groban would be able to stifle the fit of giggles …and their voices. Can we talk about this? I mean I GET that I just did a few tours of Chi-town…I get that I’m a tour person for a living…but really? Did you never learn HOMES!? And so, okay, you have one of the lakes wrong….no biggie…but then you proceed to name 4 of them? Oh yeah wow! COME ON!!! So then…he dials out on his phone…which I cannot do the noise justice…but it was so loud that I was convinced it was the PA system that was dialing! Nope…him, thankfully….he didn’t have obnoxious cell phone voice…but I barely catch the part about how they, his wife, mom, and him just got back from Ireland, Britain, and France, and all I could think of was ….what poor soul had them on tour!!!!! LOL. Okay…so we’re good…I THINK! Until this happens…I am unintentionally catching bits and pieces in between songs. (LOVE JJ HELLER by the way…mad props to Aubs for hooking me up there! LOVE HER!) So…I hear…"no, we’re still on central time." Let’s do keep in mind we are waiting for non-stop to Newark. So…”mom” goes….."when do we switch? When we get home?" I turned the volume up stat. I can excuse the part of when he opens his laptop and asks me if the wifi is free…I say no…freaking boingo….I actually didn’t say that…I said no…you have to pay. He says oh…it used to be free, in NY it’s free. I put my headphones back on-I’m pretty sure that wifi in NY airports is never free with the exception of JetBlue terminal in JFK!…but all this not before “mom” says…so you can’t use it on the plane? This? This happening right now?? Regular riot. I’m tempted to take my headphones off…I mean…entertaining isn’t the word really. Awwwwwwwwwwww…they are leaving! They just made an announcement for “Passenger Mary Allen to recheck”…so they all got up, with their stuff and have headed off to the counter…..and someone stole their seat. Okay….well I’m done poking fun at seemingly nice strangers that think there are 4 great lakes and one of them being Lake Champlain. Look out Vermont…your lake just got stolen…and moved! You might want to ask him what lake he thinks Lake Champlain is....and steal that one! I wonder where poor forgotten Lake Ontario will end up.....! This picture? The Superheroes at Lake Champlain/Ontario/Tanganyika.

A forgotten quote, for the Super Heroes...

The Super Heroes, being Annie, Amanda, and myself. This quote is just here, so we don't forget, not that we could if we tried.

to Amanda..."You're a good dancer."
Amanda...skeeved. "Why aren't you dancing?"
him..."I'm more of a lurker".

REALLY? Cuz we hadn't noticed.

And just for good times..."He was charismatic, and I was....." AB re: KV.

It's all cryptic here, because it's for my own entertainment as well.

Spanwich explained!

Let's just clear up the "SPANWICH" thing. It was WAY funnier when I first told the story to Annie, and now....it was too long ago. Sorry kids. The long of the short of it is....I get on my flight from Atlanta to Phoenix...(the first time that I wasn't RUNNING for at least 3 miles before barely making my flight in ATL)...so I get on....I'm an aisle....my total preference btw, and I have a seat between myself and sleeping Mexi. WHICH, is NOT said in any derogatory fashion, so get off your righteous horse, he was sleeping, he was Mexican....those extra 4 letters of "ican" are much too much for me. Moving on. So...at the last minute, this big, tall guy gets on....and he's squashed in the middle with us. I failed to mention the part where we were in the EXIT row...which translates to more leg room, less booty room. He squeezes in, WITH his CHINESE food, and proceeds to confuse himself. Um...somewhere? He missed the memo about CHINESE food and EASE? So, I grabbed his food away from him, which at first, was a dangerous thing-never come between a man and his food, and quite frankly, it startled him, but really, it was driving me crazy...he was like a circus act juggling his food, belt, bag, etc. You can think that I was thinking of him, but in reality? I don't look good in noodles. So....he settles...I give him back his food, he is now grateful for me, it only gets better folks. So now he's trying to eat, and saying outrageous things like..."I can't believe they let me on with this!". You'd expect him to have a knife....or a kitten...or something else! But no...he's talking about his food, which, now? I'm kind of in disbelief myself! (Those of you who have brought on Chinese food on a plane? I won't apologize for offending you, in fact, I'm going to forgive you for having done it...don't do it again. Suck it up and go hungry, get a burger, or do the "Annie" and eat your Clif Bar!-And yes...Clif Bars are now officially on the packing "list" and in the MP bag) Moving on...he's a mess....I pull out his table for him...of which? He had no knowledge. No, not that he didn't notice me doing it....he didn't KNOW it was an option! And why wasn't it on the seat in front of him. Sir, we're in the Exit row....to which he says..."wow...you know a lot about planes, you are like an expert...". Incredible. And while YES, I do know a lot about planes, as Popsicle is a pilot, and so is my brother? It's also my mode of transportation to work....HOWEVER....all I did was show you where your table was. Some sort of alarms should be going off like mad in your head right now....like...THIS GUY IS IN THE EMERGENCY EXIT ROW????? So here we go...the "flight attendant" (I still like stewardess better...and it's the longest word able to be typed with solely your left hand), anyway, the F.A. comes over....and proceeds to ask the question, you are in the exit row...are you able to help out in the event of an emergency? I say yes, Chinese eater says yes, the 3 to my right...they say yes....here's where the title come into play. Sleeping Mexi wakes up to say..."Que? Que?" And I close my eyes...have an interior battle with myself....self loses, and I say to the F.A. "do you want me to translate?" She says no, as he can't sit there anyway. Oh...okay....so now, here is my prob. I've already scoped my surroundings....I know that there is this huge black guy, he was, sitting up and to my right, and before even Chinese Eater, I thought, wow...he should sit here, he's pretty tall, but then I didn't know how much booty room he needed. Please, be aware that is more leg room....less butt room....I LIKE butt room! So I was eyeing him to switch....so now back to the situation.....F.A. has to move Sleeping Mexi....so then BBG (Big Black Guy) says something like nah...I need the leg room...and at the same time, F.A. and I say...."actually, there is more leg room"....his eyes light up and he says REALLY? Side note? It's like his 2nd time flying ever....yeah....put him in the emergency row. SO....he is next to a girl....I say, are you two together? He says yeah, and I say fine, why don't you two sit here, and Sleeping Mexi and I will move, I just scored more butt room....HERE IS WHERE MY TRIP WAS OVER. I was on the aisle...so I got out first....this now gives me an CENTER!!! NOBODY likes an CENTER...NOBODY...I mean unless curled in between Clive Owen and George Clooney....so I get the CENTER....and S.M. gets the aisle....ARGH. So I sit down....smile at the girl next to me.....and avoid the GRIN from S. M. So...F.A. now gets in my face, and says, can you explain to S.M. what just happened? OUTTED for my Spanish. So I explained...S.M. didn't care...he DID, however, care about the fact that I spoke Spanish. Yippee...I'm sure we can talk the whole way now? To which...I turn right? She doesn't speak English either, THUS? SPANWICH (the act of being between two Spanish only speakers)....she's from Central America (which translates to Carrie can't remember which country it was) and she's visiting America for the 2nd time in her life and she doesn't speak English. Her Spanish, however, was audible, and legit...unlike...S.M. WHO STARTS NAMING FRUIT! Yes...that's right....he starts naming fruit in Spanish. Clearly, since I speak it, I must only know the frutas? Tengo ningun idea pero....he ended on Papaya. Praise the Lord. I have to give you a quick version now, as I'm pretty sure it was the worst flight of my life...people wise....as there was one from Denver to Billings where I thought I was going to for sure meet Jesus sooner than later! Moving on...praise God for iPods...and I mean that...100%. Thank you Kevin Swayne for making me want one, Curtis for buying me one, and Brian for upgrading me....and simply Mr. Jobs for making them. So....I have that on...more as a deflection...to which S.M. had NO regard....I also resorted to sleeping. MIND YOU...I was SUPER involved in a book from the last flight...but the iPod warded more than the book, and AND...I had some video to watch on my iPod, but NO WAY would I do that with S.M. in my grill. EVERY time the F.A.'s would come around....S.M. needed to talk to me....it started with "Como se dice jugo de manzana?" I say...."Apple Juice"....we practice...he's ready to go. F.A. gets to him, asks him what he wants to drink? He says..... he says..."AGUA"...IN SPANISH!!!!! I have nothing more to say. So...let me not forget that before we even took off...was the "do you travel a lot?" from him, and I say "a little", and he says....I travel a lot, and proceeds to name every state he'd been in, and cities....I'm not totally sold on the fact that he didn't think "Chicago" was a state, but whatever. So then he asks me what a do for a living....argh....I don't want conversation....but I say "guia" anyway, amazingly? HIM TOO! I'm so sure...but then he launched into something else....and realize that he didn't have all his teeth, his Spanish was atrocious (yes, I'm a snob, and trained by experts, and in Spain), but I had NO idea what he was saying MOST of the time. So..the trip goes on....misery....I sleep a little...and mind you? Girl/Chica on my right? Doesn't sleep? Can't....she says....and wants to talk...and I'm so lucky that I can sleep....etc. So I feel her eyeing me, like I shouldn't sleep, so I can talk her off her ledge. Now, here's a problem...I would have TOTALLY relished in talking to her, practicing my Spanish, etc....HOWEVER....S.M. is a lurker (ha ha ha "lurker"-maybe that's a story for later) anyway, when I habla with her? HE LISTENS...too intently. Moving on....we land...welcome to Phoenix Sky Harbor-land of free WiFi, In-N-Out Burger, Cacti, Schugs, Christies, Kellums, Easts, Casson, and ANNIE! So...I'm now JAZZED to be out of my SPANWICH, and JAZZED to be here...to be picked up by my Annie. So...I'm "free"....and getting my luggage....and I FEEL someone behind me....IT'S HIM! And unfortunately, in my nature of being safe in my environment, my looking around? I caught his eye....to which clearly CLEARLY means, talk to me. Duh. He comes up to me....and in the end? He needed to make a phone call....were there phones. I'm like...I'm NOT ON DUTY!....but I am on duty....ALWAYS on duty for Christ....and I remembered that then...though not in spirit...but I looked around....found the phones...and pointed him. He then pulls out a handful of coins....NONE of which were American. I see my bag now....and I'm actually borderline creeped out...so I say...Credit Card....he says oh....didn't like that answer....but walked away a little....I was, in the end, polite, but very glad that he walked a little...so I could promptly run away to the other side of the belt...retrieve my bag, and run like mad outside....only to have the thought in my head that he is going to be out here too.....so I starting texting "GET HERE NOW" to Annie...and the big red van!! So you'll have some closure? The girl from Central America? Had like 10 people meeting her...so she was fine....and happy, and didn't need me. I like her. So, thank God....Annie pulled up, before S. M. came out to say "Adios". And that...my "amigos" is what a "SPANWICH" really is.